Nothing Said "I Love You" Like a Mixed CD

Michael shared a post with me from Thought Catalog. Unbeknownst to him, something similar happened my sophomore year of college. I lost a gray 48-CD case during a basketball trip. It was a 14-hour roundtrip, so we would pack up as soon as possible and start the drive home. My CD case was probably left in the stands.

After reading the article, I wondered what became of my fledgling collection. Mom used to refer to it as "la caja del diablo," translated to "the devil's box." I'm trying to remember what was inside but years of repressing my musical tragedy blurred my memory. All I can think of is U2's Achtung Baby, which was just re-released for its 20th anniversary. Thought about getting it but it won't be the same: my copy came from the $1 clearance at Half-Price Books; mom was with me and I thought she might disapprove my secular music purchase. Oh! Fumbling Towards Ecstasy and Surfacing both by Sarah McLachlan were in there too. Damn it, those were good ones. The only other CD identifiers I remember weren't titles at all. Instead, I recall some of the colours, as most of my collection consisted of mixes. Bright yellow, a red, some blue, I think even a bright pink, but all of them gifts from Todd, a former close friend of mine.

Our musical relationship began in high school. Secular music was a no-no in my then conservative household, so when he gave me my first mix my junior year, it was equivalent to contraband... much-welcomed contraband. It included Everclear's "Wonderful", acoustic versions of Bush's "Glycerine" and Fuel's "Shimmer" (love the lyrics to the latter), and the clean version of Radiohead's "Creep" (back then I felt more uncomfortable with the the f-word). Bet you that CD was also in that case.

Music taste may be a personal preference but Todd had a knack for constructing an interesting if not wonderful mix or playlist. I was excited whenever he gave me a CD, as I never knew what was on it. He had one rule: I would have to listen to the whole thing before giving me the playlist. The anticipation of finding out who and what was on it was always frustrating, specially if I was far from a CD player.

Throughout the years the discs piled up and resulted in my now unfortunately lost collection. There was no playlist paper trail so reconstructing my collection was impossible. It wouldn't be the same anyways, as those mixes were creatively crafted for me. I want to know what became of it. Did it become orphaned in lost and found, only to be tossed when its parent didn't claim it? I really hope someone — student, janitor, somebody — picked it up and gave it a home. I wonder what they thought of it as they browsed through the pages and if, like the article author, decided to put on one of those mixes. Maybe they played the yellow CD; must've been a surprise to have Perry Como's "Papa Loves Mambo" and, I believe, Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire" on the same disc.

Todd and I had a fallout our senior year in college. Later we managed to be civil but now we don't keep in touch. It's not until now that I wonder if that was his way of showing affection. I miss those mixed CDs, and maybe that's why.