Spinach, Forgiveness and Tape

Remember when Popeye would squeeze open a can of spinach, eat some, and save the day? His super strength wasn't permanent but it was enough to fix things back to normal, sometimes even better than before.

At the moment I wish I had something like that. I'm lacking emotional strength and I'm not sure what's holding me together. Maybe it's the promise that a light still flickers somewhere and the hope that I'll find it soon. I just know rolling over and dying isn't an option.

I've been holding a grudge and more bitterness and negativity than legally permissible for my not-quite-5-foot frame. It's drained me over time and today is one of those days where I'm really feeling the empty-ish tank. (Hormones aren't helping but that's no excuse.) I really wish it was materialized and I could take pills to cure it or take a bulimic approach to purging it. I'm afraid the amount would physically kill me though.

I'd drive to the edge of the map if I knew I could find the forgiveness I need to give and receive; it'd be a more refreshing find than Ponce's Fountain of Youth and more delicious than cartoon canned spinach. But right now, I need to hold myself together with some tape, glue, hemp, something, long enough to be OK and take that next step.

The Book(s) That Saved My Life

One I judged and picked by its cover; the other was a recommendation from friend and former professor, Mr. Blake. They were "The Life of Pi" and "Traveling Mercies," respectively. The former is the story of Pi and his plight to survive in a raft along with a tiger and the latter is Anne Lamott's thoughts on faith.

Though seemingly unrelated stories, they both deal with God, religion, faith, and survival, things I've been sorting out for the last who-knows-how-long. I love books, but these two make me believe lifesavers still come in paperback or hardcover. I think God in his almighty humour saw I was barely doggy-paddling through life and tossed them over.

The current me happens to relate to Ms. Lamott's spiritual stumble. (Sans the drugs, drinking and sleeping around.) I took "Mercies" with me to one of my counseling appointments and read an excerpt about religion and forgiveness; she said it better than I could've explained. As for Pi, he reminded me to be one of those who has "life-hungry stupidity." Survival, though held together with hope and belief, starts with oneself.

Pi, while floating in the Pacific, said, "My greatest wish -other than salvation- was to have a book." I'm so glad I do.

Mushroom, Mushroom

I went to Hy-Vee and poked around the mushroom bins while waiting for Kelly. I love 'shrooms. One day I'll make something amazing with Portobellos.

Anyways, I found Morel 'shrooms... for $11.99 AN OUNCE. Why are they going for that price if they're not even the magical kind?